A friend of mine and I were chatting earlier; she was telling me about a friend of hers that was just fired from her job. I'm going to call her Jackie to avoid confusion.

Want to know why? Obviously I'm going to tell you anyway ~_^

Apparently this woman was having trouble with some of her catty co-workers, a group of gossipy women that didn't like her. Jackie didn't like all the nasty things they were saying about her and so she complained to her boss. There's no union where she worked, but they were forced to attend some mandatory seminars and such on harassment & they were told that if they had problems with co-workers to talk to the boss so the offenders could be warned. Jackie, who is a bit of a naive sort, believed the wad of bullcrap 'protection' procedures and whatever else she was fed and continued to complain as the harassment didn't stop.

So they fired her.

They fired her because it's easier to get rid of one person, than it is to get rid of four. She's gone, problem solved.

Ok, don't ask me for details here because I have none, this story is completely hearsay, I don't even know the friend of a friend known as Jackie, but not really. I'm just incensed because I haven't actually seen or heard tale of this problem solving strategy outside of grade school, and I'm disgusted. Not really surprised, just disgusted. Also, if you're like me you'll say, they can't do that, she should sue for her job back! Although my friend pointed out that it would be impossible to prove, and from a different (but relational enough) experience I guess I'd have to agree.

People suck.

Ok, well at least other people suck - not you guys.

I just found a thread in New Winnipeg about bullying in our schools.

For me this topic is an emotionally charged one so I have to be very careful with it. *I thank my Libra Ascendant for the power of impartiality* I'm just so tired of hearing people talk about bullies like it's one kid who goes around picking on weaker kids because of low self-esteem and bad parenting. Not that there aren't bullies like that, it just seems to me that most of the alleged bullies are really the victims.

In my experience the kids who are being picked on are labeled as bullies when they retaliate against groups of kids who are tormenting and harassing them. If you get a group of kids together and there's one kid with a physical defect or something the kids tease and exclude that kid.

Picture a caged gorilla and a group of kids surrounding the cage teasing, poking and throwing rocks, while the supervising adults are watching a vast area with many groups of kids and are chatting or otherwise distracted. The gorilla takes it for awhile and then when it can't take anymore it starts violently shaking the cage and makes alot of noise, one of the kids gets hurt in the process.

Bad gorilla.

What happened? The gorilla just went nuts!!! All of the kids agree. The gorilla has no defence, it must be punished, put to sleep or otherwise isolated.

Is it the gorilla's fault? Maybe it's the fault of the gorilla's caregivers then. Or is it the fault of a mass prejudiced society that are teaching kids this kind of behaviour is ok, perhaps even unintentionally?

What happens when a kid grows up with a parent who is obsessing about... say - their weight? Maybe they make comments about getting fat, or that it's disgusting - maybe they make even snide comments about others to their friends. What kind of message does that send to kids? Maybe the adult wouldn't harrass someone, they should know better, but kids don't know how to make that kind of distinction. How widespread is that senario?

How does that affect the way the pudgy kids are treated in our schools? The kids with physical or mental defects? The not-so-well-off kids in hand-me-down clothing (especially in middle or upper class areas)?

All kinds of grownups look down on others flaws, mainly the flaws that they don't like about themselves (but that's another topic) They may even think they're being discreet about it (which is probably giving them too much credit) but kids pick up on it anyway. That's a much subtler problem that is more difficult to isolate but IMNSHO it's effects are far more widespread and dangerous than the few bullies that spawn from abusive or negligent environments.