My last post I started thinking we should have a 'zap' button on the phone, that, when pressed, sends a little shock to the person on the other end. There are some people who really, really need the behavioural conditioning that this would provide.

1. Stalkers - obviously.
2. Telemarketers for the Conservative Party.
3. People trying to sell you stuff that won't take "no thanks" for an answer.
4. People who call me for technical support while they are smoking a joint. (Yes, this has happened.) While having to repeat everything I said more than 3 times, and listening to her toking it up on the other end, I had to restrain myself to not tell her to put the f'n thing down until she was off the phone. I would just be able to send her a shock every time she went to smoke & she'd stop...
5. People who don't know what a power cord or electrical outlet is.
6. People who don't know where the power button is.
7. People who don't know how to change the batteries in the remote.
8. When my mother starts yelling at me for something.
9. People who drink & dial.

The words on the 'zap phone' icon are taken from an actual call last night. The woman wanted me to send someone over right away to press the power button because she is not a mechanic. She pressed it & it worked except for the remote which had dead batteries. Her solution? "Well where am I supposed to get those! How can I do that??? I don't think I should have to find someone to do that for me, you should send someone!"

They are AAA batteries.

*headdesk*